“Singing, Sinning, and Holiday Cheer” April 16, 2021

In some previous Parson to Person columns I have shared some actual announcements from various church bulletins around the country–announcements that displayed unintended humor (sometimes as a result of typographical errors, sometimes through dangling modifiers, sometimes just mangled syntax). Dean Johnson first alerted me to these, and then a few others added their own. (For example, our church administrator Lyn Gust remembered typing “Diving Savior” instead of “Divine Savior.”)  Since I’m taking a mini-vacation this week, I hope you don’t mind if I “loaf” a little and share a dozen more of these church typo-treasures. The first four are about sinning (one of my favorite subjects). The next four are about music. The last four concern religious holidays.  They all make me chuckle.

  • The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
  • The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.
  • The beautiful flowers on the altar this morning are to celebrate the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Belzer.
  • We will meet at 7 pm in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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  • The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  • If you need to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly.
  • The sermon this morning: “Contemporary Issues–Euthanasia.”  The closing song: “Take My Life.”
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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  • The ladies of the altar guild will be stripping on the altar during the Maundy Thursday service.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  • The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service, we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

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I hope you all have a chance to relax and unwind a little, especially as the spring weather makes it a little easier to get outside. I don’t plan to go anywhere far for my spring break, but I do plan to enjoy the lake and parks around me; I hope you have that opportunity too.

peace and unrest,

tony