Parson to Person: “Para What? A Gift for the New Year” 12-27-19
As you read this, you may be in a somewhat hectic state: Hanukkah, Solstice, Christmas, New Year – whatever it is you’re celebrating, and wherever you are in the process of it, you probably have precious few moments. So I’ll be short. Here’s a gift for 2020. It’s a list of paraprodoskians meaning…Oh, who am I kidding! Do you care about the etymology of the word this time? (I mean, with all this hectic stuff going on in your life right now?) I didn’t think so.
Simply put, a paraprodoskian is a figure of speech in which the second part of a sentence of phrase is surprising or unexpected (and sometimes humorous). Churchill is said to have loved these. Here are a few paraprodoskian beginnings – can you guess what the endings might be? (You’ll find the “official” answers below, but what you yourself come up with might be pretty good too. Send me some if you have them.) OK, here are the para-etc. beginnings:
- Where there’s a will…
- I’d like to agree with you, but…
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism…
- You do not need a parachute to skydive…
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you…
- To be sure of hitting the target…
- Going to church doesn’t make you spiritual…
- War does not determine who is right…
- Women will never be equal to men until…
And now, for the “official” answers:
- Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
- I’d like to agree with you, but… if I did, we’d both be wrong.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive twice.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you… but it’s still on my list!
- To be sure of hitting the target… shoot first, and then call whatever you hit: “the target.”
- Going to church doesn’t make you spiritual…any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- War does not determine who is right… only who is left.
- Women will never be equal to men until… they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy.
There you have it: a gift (such as it is) for the coming year. Hope at least one of these made you smile.
peace and unrest,
Tony
