Every once in a while I have shared actual typos from church newsletters and bulletins in my Northliner column. Not all of them are technically typographical, of course–some are simply words or phrases that can have more than one meaning. Here, to start the new year, are a few more that I find humorous or revealing (or both). And remember, they all actually appeared in church bulletins!
For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
The ‘Over 60s Choir’ will be disbanded for the summer with the thanks of the entire church.
The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
Thank you to our custodian, who once again has worked hard to clean the pastor off the basement floor.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.’
Ushers will eat all latecomers.
The pastor is on vacation. In his absence, personal massages can be given to the church secretary.
With the above thoughts in mind, have a happy new year, everyone, with lots of laughter–and, of course, a little…
peach and unders,