“A Little Humor for April Fool’s Day” March 31, 20
"A Little Humor for April Fool's Day,"
March 31, 2023
Today (March 31st) is my 74th birthday. As some of you know, I have always wished my birthday had been the day after, since April 1st seems to fit my personality better. (In fact, whenever anyone asks me when my birthday is, I usually say "It's the day before April Fool's." It's easier to remember that way.)
In honor of this humorous holiday, here is some "medical terminology for the layperson"--basically, actual medical terms with incorrect-but-understandable definitions, which I hope will tickle your funny bone. (In case any of them don't make immediate sense to you, look for the explanations in the P.S. at the end of this column.)
Enjoy!
Barium: What you do when CPR fails Caesarean Section: A district in Rome Coma: A punctuation mark Dilate: Live a long time Fester: Quicker G.I. Series: Baseball games between teams of soldiers Hangnail: A coat hook Medical Staff: A doctor's cane Morbid: A higher offer Nitrate: Lower than the day rate Node: Was aware of Organic: Like church music Outpatient: Someone who has fainted in the hospital
Enjoy the season, my friends!
piece and unwrest,
tony
P.S. Here are the "explanations" for any of the above you may have missed:
artery = study of art
barium = "bury 'em"
coma = comma
dilate = die late
fester = faster
G.I. = soldier
hangnail = a nail to hang things on
staff = a walking stick
more bid = "more bid"
nitrate = night rate
node = knowed
organic = like a church organ
outpatient = a patient who is unconscious, or "out"
