As I watched UCN folks clear the sanctuary for the laying of the new carpet (thank you, thank you!), I thought about a few typos from church bulletins that I have found amusing–including one that mentioned carpeting. Not all of them are technically typographical (some are simply words or phrases that can have more than one meaning). But they all actually appeared in a church bulletin somewhere!
So here, to start the summer, is my last installment of “unintended church humor.” Enjoy.
- Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
- Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing ‘Put Me in My Little Bed’ accompanied by the pastor.
- Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
- Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers please see the minister in his private study.
- The service will close with ‘Little Drops of Water.’ One of the ladies will start (quietly), and the rest of the congregation will join in.
We human beings are never so funny as when we’re trying to be serious! Enjoy your summer, everyone, with a little…
cease and invest,
P.S. For past versions of unintended church humor, see these Parson to Person columns:
- 25, Oct 16, Oct 30, Nov 27, Dec 18, and Dec 25 from 2020
- Apr 16 and Dec 31 from 2021
- Jan 28 from 2022